Bilbo, black riders, and Smaug writes a poem

My mousy friend was driving in his big jeep with tires that were nine feet tall. And he road into the jungle. and he put lights on the front on the hood on both sides and on the back and on the top. My mousy friend was driving along in the dark and you know what was walking on the side of his car? A big bear! Stomping! They turned on all the switches and the bear was down at the bottom of a waterfall and we were up at the top. The grizzly bear tried and tried to get up the waterfall and he fell down right into a river at the bottom of the waterfall. He was in the waterfall with water pouring on him. And an alligator and a piranha ate his tail! Do you know what he said?
"Rarq!"
And he got out of the waterfall soaking wet. And before the moon rose a hunter was hunting with his dog. The dog and the hunter saw the bear. They shot the bear's back. The bear said "Rearq!" He got up and kicked the hunter right into an aligators mouth. And Bilbo came. It sounded like horses were coming. Do you know what they sounded like. (clicking sounds)
And do you know what it was?
A black rider!!!
There were ten gallons of them coming!
Bilbo hid in a nearby cave. Bilbo was pretty frightened because he heard a Rrrrroeeeer. Smaug was getting ready to blow fire and blast open his cave. And right before he could say a word. The black rider clopped on the top of Smaug's cave. Smaug got so upset! He blew fire out of his cave. Bilbo and all the other hobbits did not move. They heard a sticking sound. Do you know what it sounded like?
Tttt. Ttt. Ttt. And do you know what the creature was saying? Gollum. Gollum. It was Gollum!!! The black rider and Gollum heard him straight away! They crept into a hole in the side of Smaug's cave. The black rider went in the cave. He saw the hobbits crawling across a hole. All of the black riders tried to fit all of their heads in the hole. Their heads got stuck! They pulled and pulled and pulled! Then their heads came off of their necks. They tried to fit all their legs and their legs came off of their torso. The hobbits found a treasure chest. They opened the treasure chest and found jewels and special crystal rocks. Smaug heard about this. And he wrote down a poem. Do you know what it said?
If anybody comes in my cave.
They will be tossed into prison!
And whoever takes my jewels
Will get their head sliced off!
And whoever tries to shoot a bow and arrow at me,
They will be thrown into the crocodile swamp.
Whoever tries to get into my treasure part of his cave.
They will get fed to the birds.

The end